I just can't believe that it's 19 years ago today that Lawrence died. It is still very hard, but my wonderful children help to make that pain easier and I love the fact that Eaffie is so like Lawrence, in looks and personality. I love to look at Eaffie and Josh together and to think that they will have such an important relationship. I look at photos of Lawrence and me together and I can see so many similarities with Eaffie and Josh. My only wish is that they never have to go through the pain that I have gone through, but who knows what will happen in life. All I can do is enjoy the here and now and give my children the life they deserve.